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Wolf, tequila and end of semester blues

Here are three expressions I have taken a liking to in the last few days/weeks.

Don't feed the bad wolf
My mother's coworker has this tattooed on her arm and as she told me the story, I immediately took a liking to the expression. The moral which is based on an old Cherokee Native American tale, is a good one for someone like me who is just a little bit negative.

One winter’s evening whilst gathered round a blazing camp

fire, an old Indian chief told his grandson about the inner struggle that goes on inside people.

“You see” said the old man, “this inner struggle is like two wolves fighting each other. One is evil, full of anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, deceit, false pride, superiority, and ego."

“The other one,” he continued, poking the fire with a stick so that the fire crackled, sending the flames clawing at the night sky, “is good, full of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." For a few minutes his grandson pondered his grandfather’s words and then asked, “So which wolf wins, grandfather?”

“Well”, said the wise old chief, his lined face breaking into a wry smile,

“The one you feed!”

Tequila can save any night
I am a firm believer that it rarely gets more fun than the pre-drink. The apartment chill always seems to exceed what is encountered at the bar. Last night began as one of those evenings. Cold weather, long lines and bad atmosphere made the night less than appealing. When I was about ready to give up and catch a cab, Lisa who was determined to save the night-out exclaims that there was nothing tequila could not fix! I have to admit how right she was and say this may become my new motto.

Everything is going to be alright

Maybe not today but eventually.
Our fabulous student paper the Concordian, features a weekly mix-tape hosted on 8tracks.com. I have become a pretty avid user of the site and the other day one of the sets had this photo attached. It stuck probably because it describes my current state end of semester blues perfectly.

Impending failure

I am not sure if it was the love/pressure from my "fans" that sent me back to this very familiar blog or just nostalgia but here I am at 1 a.m. on the night before my political science essay is due to say that I have officially given up! Okay, that reads a little dramatic but basically I have this essay that is 3000 words due tomorrow and I have written 1600. While an all-nighter would be a solution, I simply no longer have the brain capacity to write another word on the subject of clientelism and patron-client relations in India.

Seeing as it is worth 40%, handing in a half completed essay is basically subjecting me to a mark in the D-F range. For someone who cries at the sight of an A- in political science classes, giving up is not only a sure GPA killer but also an emotional disaster waiting to happen. Yet, despite this I still will not return to the essay because I think everyone is allowed one little fuck up in university and with one semester to go, I figured I would use mine up with this essay. Also as someone who stresses and panics over every little thing, I have a sense of calmness about this decision. This of course may change if I fail the class which hopefully will not happen.

While this was not what I planned as my first post back, I figure I can't justify spending time writing much else while my essay sits neglected. SO for now, this is what is here BUT hopefully with each day the Whiteboard will take one step closer to it's glory days....whenever those were.

The Blue Bin: this year's grinch

Well well, its been quite a few months but a recent event has led me to blogger. You see, despite being of the Jewish faith, I have a christmas tree in my house. No, not a chanukah/hanukah bush but rather a 9ft balsam pine. You see, my step-father is not part of the tribe and as a result we celebrate both holidays.

So here we were saturday morning opening gifts nice and early as I was going to work and my mother was going up north. I was delighted to be gifted a new knapsack, electric toothbrush (upon request) and one beautiful black leather purse. She was stunning. My step-father believes in using "fake boxes" aka hides the real gifts inside un-matching wrapping so my toothbrush came in a kindle box and my knapsack in a heating pad one. My purse on the other hand came in a nice gift bag.

Anyways, I went downstairs with my knapsack to see if it was big enough to hold my laptop and left the other gifts upstairs in the time-being. Being a newbie at the christmas traditions, I was informed that all gifts stay under the tree at least for christmas day. No questions asked I left my assortment of gifts in the gift bag and ran-off to work.

Last night I realized I had no clue where my toothbrush was and figured I had left it in the knapsack. This morning I went to checked the bag, no toothbrush and went to look under the tree with the purse. But there were no gifts under the tree at all. As I scavenged the entire house and garbage pale it dawned on me that the recycling man had already passed earlier that morning and before I knew it, I had deducted that the purse was gone. Recycled. Dead. Along with it went the new beautiful purple toothbrush.

So here I am, three hours into my sulk session and still feeling awfully shitty about my misfortune and felt there was no better place to express it than the Whiteboard. Whether this means future posts to come or not is unclear but at least for the time being all 3 of you will be entertained for five minutes.

8000 ft above

As I have mentioned before, I am heading to Peru at the end of the month! In order to celebrate my nearing departure date, I created a travel blog.

CHECK IT OUT

8000 ft above

One Month in

So I have technically been on summer vacation for one month already but between working at the bakery and taking a summer class I have not had too much free time.On the bright side having a job and going to school is helping me kill time until I head to PERU! I am not sure if I mentioned on my blog already, but Lisa and I are heading to Lima in a little over a month! I am so excited! There is still lots and lots to do before then including today's adventure which will include a trip to the travel clinic for some vaccinations.... I also need to buy hiking boots, a backpacking knapsack and some other gear. The trip advises that we get in shape which I am trying to do but my laziness wins over me sometimes. Unlike yesterday when I biked to and from school it was about 25 mins each way and I went to class a little red in the face but it really felt great to give my body a work out. Besides for Peru, I hope to make a few other trips this summer. I alreadyhave plans to head to Toronto but my heart is really set on visitin Truro, Nova Scotia!!!

In other EXCITING news, Vampire Weekend is returning for their second show in Montreal. They come in sometime in September but tickets went on sale today and I just could not resist seeing them again. Hopefully this time they will have some merchandise for purchasing, more specifically a poster. On the subject of music, my friend Teddy gave me this amazing amazing site that is very much worth sharing. It is called Stereomood... I will not say more but I highly suggest clicking the link and checking it out.

So today was back to school... yes I am taking a summer course. I did so mostly to keep me from crying of boredom. Five months of summer vacation is just too long to sit around and do nothing. This was a lesson I learnt after spending the last three weeks depressed in bed because I had so little to do. This is why I decided to take POLI 204 in the first place and it looks like it won't be too bad minus the 15 page paper. There seems to be tons of "characters" in the class that share their opinions about everything whether it is relevant or not.

But ya, besides for sulking, I have also occupied my time working at the bakery pretty much everyday since school ended and being a bandwagon Habs fan. The truth is Montreal is just so much fun when they win. Last week when we won the series, I was downtown with Jill and the streets were filled with people cheering and celebrating. Apparently there was also tear gas but we left before things got too wild. We ended up going for pizza which is where I made the world's best discovery well actually Jill ordered it so she deserves the credit...but ya BACON PIZZA is the most delicious thing ever. The pizza shop had it diced up super tiny and I fell in love (sorry moses).....

I started this post last week and never got around to finishing it or posting it so I just figured I would do it today...

Purple Bicycle

YAY! I found a super awesome bike yesterday and I love love love it! I got it from a guy on Kijiji behind a warehouse on St. Patrick. Let me just say if I had gone alone (without my father) I would not have gotten out of my car. It was sooooo sketchy that I wanted to take a picture but was being watched by some people who I assume were his "employees". Anyways I think the bike comes from an old rental shop because the seat has a number on it and there were some compromising stickers that I have since peeled off. I also Vim'ed the tires and sprayed the squeaky springs. All that is left is the decision of whether or not to name it... suggestions?

Here are some proud mother snapshots of me looking very unphotogenic on my new purple gem (as Alex refers to it as)!

Sunny Saturday

Tomorrow is supposed to be gorgeous and sunny. Not to mention I have appointments with craiglisters to go look at bikes but have nobody to drag with me. I need exams to be over so I can have some friends again...so basically if you are free tomorrow let me know so we can play. I also must add that I am addicted to Mr. Freeze Jumbo freezies lately - more specifically the white one which I have discovered is Cream Soda flavoured! yum yum! I wish I had more to report on but today was rather lame. I worked, watched more episodes of Psych, had dinner, watched the HABS WIN and played on Sporcle, a highly addictive website whose tag-line is "mentally stimulating diversions."I highly recommend it because it is a great way to kill time without feeling too guilty since it is very educational. Here was my

favorite quiz of the day -"Antonym Movie Titles."

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So back to my summer, which is currently very planless. I have two goals for the next week:

#1. Find a super duper awesome location to travel to with friend Lisa at the beginning of July

#2. Find tons of fun local activities in Montreal to keep me busy until then

What next...

After several months of hibernation I decided to return to the Whiteboard mostly because I am bored and in need of a hobby. I have graduated from my second year at University which freaks me out because I still feel and look about fifteen. I am usually pretty at peace with my youthful appearance but today I was out for lunch when a stupid waiter ruined my entire day. I was with my stepmother at a mexican restaurant. She ordered a piña colada and I ordered a margarita...no questions asked. Halfway through my drink I mentioned how by that point in a drink I usually feel a little tipsy but was currently feeling as though there was very little alcohol. I shrugged it off and blamed it on eating too much. BUT SURE ENOUGH, when we got the bill it listed "1 virgin margarita." I get that I look young but I think the waiter could have had the decency to ask me or maybe even the decency to apologize when we told him his mistake. All he had to say was that he "didn't realize." K thanks buddy but I still would like some tequila. Plus side is that I got treated to an awesome new pair of Converse (after ruining the ones I had with bleach.)

Anyways today is Earth Day but nothing seems to be happening in the city or maybe I just didn't get word of it. Like always though, Google represented with a cool graphic and tons of links. This reminds me of my latest fixation - finding a bike to buy. I am desperate to find a bike I can ride to work or even school. I have searched craigslist and other websites but I still have not found "the one" aka a bike thats pretty and cheap and the right size for my 5"2 height.

Aside for those two little anecdotes/rant so much has happened since I have last posted, none of which include finding summer plans. But I can proudly boast that I am next year's Journalism Student Association President and the Editor of the Life Section of the Concordian!!! Both jobs start in the fall which is why I need something to occupy the next four months. For the last twelve years I have attended sleep-away camp and this will be my first year not returning. This was a decision I was confident with until it was April and I still had ZERO planned. I remember back in November thinking that it all was just going to work out. I believed that I would either find some super awesome amazing trip to go on, a volunteer opportunity to engage in or maybe even some career enhancing internship. I do have to admit that I did not try too hard to find these plans but for once I wanted something to find me which up to now has not happened. And as you can imagine, I am feeling slightly defeated. Though one would think sitting in bed to noon everyday would be amazing, it is less than a week in and I am already so bored I could cry. The one thing that has kept me going is Psych, a TV show I have become completely addicted to and highly recommend!

Other than that, not much to report on but I can imagine there will be lots coming up in the next four months (or so I hope.)

Hibernation

This post is a little overdue but heavy course load, short deadlines and hours at work have kept me from posting as frequently as I would like. So until

I have more time it appears that the Whiteboard is in a temporary hibernation.

Before I sign off, I have one more self-promotion.... check out and follow - ConcordianLife on Twitter! (There is nothing there yet but I promise you it will soon be full of fun things).

Playing Catch Up

So it is only week three and the stress is already on and I feel like I have already fell so far behind. I am trying desperately to catch up which is hard to do while also writing articles for The Concordian and producing a certain someone's Bar Mitzvah video. Though with that said, I rather be busy than bored out of my mind. I know it may seem a little strange to complain about vacation, but winter break was rather boring and it is kind of nice to be back with some of my school friends being productive.

Anyways, a lot of people seem to be heading on exchanges and I have that "left behind" feeling. It does not make it easier that of all my school friends, I am the only one that lives at home. I was originally thinking that I should go on an exchange next year but certain circumstances like a full year course and an interest in getting involved in the school paper is keeping me home. I am definitely happy with my decision but saying all these goodbyes is just getting depressing.

In an attempt to stick with some resolutions, I had mentioned my discontent with my high school group of friends but promised to be proactive about solving this... well guess what? Tomorrow night it so happens that we are going out! I shall keep you posted on this.

I know the posting has been infrequent but as I have already mentioned I am totally overwhelmed. On the bright side, having a long list of things to do means I get to waste my time making a to do list... I do not know about anyone else but that has to be my favorite procrastination tool. I also often put things I have accomplished on it, so that I can cross it out and feel more productive than I may actually be.

Check out my newest article in this week's Concordian.

Time out: why taking a year off might be exactly what you need

How I Love Reminiscing

My previous post featured a link to an old post of mine. In order to post the link, I needed to search the archives which when I did, I came across this post from a little over a year ago. It is funny how little life changes.

P.S - Since that post I have probably acquired at least 8 new scarves.

Not Again...

A little while back, I received a friend request from an "Emily White". Interested I decided to click on her friends and noticed she had around 60 other Emily's as her facebook friend.

I was a little creeped out so rather than respond to the request I kind of just let it it there in my requests on facebook. Over the next few weeks I continued to check her friends and noticed she had gone from 60 to 102 Emily White friends. Finally journalism bff Jill told me it was enough and I deleted her. BUT it did not end there.... a few days later I received the following private message:

"Hello! As you can see my name is also Emily White. I have decided to friend request other Emily White's and start a group for us, since clearly, we are awesome. So Accept if you want but no worries if you don't. You can also find the group, Emily White’s of the World, and send me a request to join the group! - Emily"

This was followed by another Emily's friendship request. It

has now been weeks upon weeks that the two requests have been pending on facebook but I avoided deleting them until I wrote this post. Although I found it too sketchy to accept them as friends, I did request to join the Emily White's of the world facebook group just in case... Truthfully, I only did that this morning as I was writing my post so this post will definitely deserve an update once I have been accepted into the group.

The reason I entitled this post "Not Again...." was because it seems that every so often, facebook loves to remind me that there are 500+ Emily White's. Remember last year's "My Scottish Alias or Identity Theft". Maybe I should message that girl and find out if she ever found the right Emily White.

Room Redecorated

A few new touches to my room:

New Decade

Vacation is already over and I have very little to report on. The few weeks off were rather boring because I did not have nearly enough "fun" as I expected and hoped for. But what is good about that is I am not really dreading the new semester all that much. In fact I am kind of really excited about school and starting a new decade.

I know it is totally cliche to talk about resolutions in the days following new years, but I can not help but do it anyways. Amongst the typical promises to myself to 1. exercise more (well at all) and 2. eat healthy, I have also decided to attempt to 3. be more positive in life and 4. worry less. Two areas that for anyone who knows me, know how desperately I need to do this. My anxiety and pessimism are hard characteristics to rid myself of but I am making a promise to attempt it. A final resolution is to 5. to finish what I start. All too often I start a craft project, start re-organizing my room or avoid cleaning up after myself which eventually causes my surroundings to become a total mess which stresses me out, something I want to avoid.

Round Up - Part 2

So in an attempt to keep with my resolution, I will tie up some loose ends from a couple of posts ago when I wrote a list of things I want to blog about but only ever got to half of them.I wrote about Halloween, Building a portfolio, Buying a new watch, Olympic clothing and Where the Wild Things Are.

Here is what was left:

6. Going on an exchange - I really want to go on one with my friend Teddy because I think I will be too much of an anxiety case if I go alone. Unfortunately, we have not chosen our top destination though the deadline is in less than a month. Though this week we vowed to get together to discuss and I plan on approaching teachers to ask for letters of recommendations.

7. Black ankle boots - gave up the search and instead bought high riding boots which I adore. In fact, my boots were featured in Cosmo this month.

8. Being more confident - This is not just another resolution of mine but rather an attempt to be more comfortable in my chosen field. Too often I am overly shy to approach people or take initiative, something that I need work on if I am going to succeed as a journalist. Also, in life I just want to 6. be more bold.

9. Dwindling group of friends - basically our high school clique is dead, a fact I have had trouble handling for the last few years. I waste a lot of energy being disappointed in friends and rather than dwell, I have decided to categorize my friendships into "worth it" and "not worth it". This may seem overly I don't know what, but I need to avoid wasting time and energy making an effort with someone who has not interest in reciprocating it. I don't mean this rudely just a little frustration vent.

10. Camp - I am not going back for the first time in twelve years, and I am not okay with it. I am actually the opposite of okay, I am depressed about it... especially since I have no plans this summer. Not to mention my blog description is "camp addict". How can I be a camp addict if I don't go to camp :(

p.s - after all the NYE dreading the night was not so bad... who could have predicted that?

Already? Really?

September is always ruined with the pressure of what to do for my birthday.

October is always ruined with the pressure of how to celebrate halloween.

And December is always ruined with the pressure of finding the perfect New year's party.

That is why I like November... there is nothing to worry about.

Now it may seem a little unnecessary and pathetic to have an entire month ruined because of one day but it is more than just the day, it is living with the disappointment if (when) that day does not live up to my expectations. This year I was a little more apathetic than usual and barely acknowledged my birthday or halloween. In fact I went so far as to avoid both these holidays completely. A pretty losery way to celebrate but I just could not handle the pressure of invitations or of a costume.

Which brings me back to New Year's Eve. Can someone please explain to me why this holiday has creeped up into my November. Today when I signed onto facebook, there sitting in my events was a New Year's party. I was not ready for such an invite. Guess the pressure is already on :(

Countdown-Clocks

Okay enough ranting!

Check out my latest article:

Mind your manners: modern day etiquette guide for students

ps: if you are in town during the break aka not migrating to florida.. let me know

As seen in the Life section

So as a journalism student, it is pretty important to start getting involved. Whether it be in the school paper, school radio station, etc. In my first year I was nervous and self-conscious about my abilities so I made zero effort to write for the paper or get myself out there at all. Then it hit me... scholarship applications, internships and summer jobs in my field all require portfolios. They require at least 2 clippings of work you've had published. I had none. This lack of published work was not a good thing. So I decided to conquer my fears and my laziness and I emailed the editor of the life section at the Concordian. A couple of hours later, I had my first story - Recycled Clothing. The 1000 word limit came with a two week deadline. Now four weeks later I have had three articles published which is nothing in comparison to certain friends of mine (jill) but it is a start and I am proud. So here are my three feature articles that appeared in the life section of The Concordian.

1. Green fashion special

2. Sexin' up Halloween

3. Hotter than Ever (tea)

Time Check

After eight years wearing the same watch I got as a present for my Bat Mitzvah, I bought a new one! It was a "no plans to go anywhere for winter vacation or spring break" present to myself. I am truly in love with it though it is a little heavy to wear but I am sure it will not be long till I get used to it. It this this lovely Michael Kors gunmetal -------------------------->

I was torn between this one and a silver/white one but I thought that one was a little too classic and if I commit to such a classic style at twenty than I was being boring. Plus my mother liked the other one better and who doesn't love going against their mother's fashion sense? My tiny little wrists meant they had to take 5 links off the band but they did it right there so I did not have to wait for it. Best part is that it comes with a two-year warranty, something I hopefully won't need but are glad to have. The only reason this post is so long is because I could not figure out how to make the picture smaller and it looked weird without text next to it.

Halloween

Even though Halloween is now over, I have to admit that it caused me lots of stress and I am glad we have already found ourselves in November. Day Light Savings was great because I got an extra hour of sleep before work, but boy does it get dark out early now. Guess that means winter is approaching...

So for Halloween I hoped to find awesome plans that didn't involve a "very revealing" costume but waited too long and instead stayed home Thursday and Friday. On Saturday, the actual day of Halloween, I went trick or treating with my one-year-old niece who was dressed up as a very cute moneky. I got all dressed up in a geek costume but looked more like Avril Lavigne or Taylor Swift before she gets the guy than I did a geek. It was still lots of fun but most of the houses we went to were wondering where my bag was... they were shocked to find out I was twenty and their embarrassment often meant more candy for the baby (which really meant more candy for us adults).

Highlights included: the first house having FULL-SIZED chocolate bars, another giving out candy and halloween themed pencils AND the house that had foam flowing down their driveway!

Then later saturday night, I went to see Paranormal Activity... um I haven't slept in days. No that is not exactly true but it was for sure one scary scary movie though I recommend seeing it. Everyone in the theatre was dressed up which was funny. I was a ballerina by that point though I didn't really put the costume to much use after the movie.

SO to wrap up my halloween, I dressed in two very cliche costumes, got free candy and saw a scary movie making it a less awful halloween than I had expected. Guess it is time to start dreading New Year's Eve :)