Wolf, tequila and end of semester blues

Here are three expressions I have taken a liking to in the last few days/weeks.

Don't feed the bad wolf
My mother's coworker has this tattooed on her arm and as she told me the story, I immediately took a liking to the expression. The moral which is based on an old Cherokee Native American tale, is a good one for someone like me who is just a little bit negative.

One winter’s evening whilst gathered round a blazing camp

fire, an old Indian chief told his grandson about the inner struggle that goes on inside people.

“You see” said the old man, “this inner struggle is like two wolves fighting each other. One is evil, full of anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, deceit, false pride, superiority, and ego."

“The other one,” he continued, poking the fire with a stick so that the fire crackled, sending the flames clawing at the night sky, “is good, full of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." For a few minutes his grandson pondered his grandfather’s words and then asked, “So which wolf wins, grandfather?”

“Well”, said the wise old chief, his lined face breaking into a wry smile,

“The one you feed!”

Tequila can save any night
I am a firm believer that it rarely gets more fun than the pre-drink. The apartment chill always seems to exceed what is encountered at the bar. Last night began as one of those evenings. Cold weather, long lines and bad atmosphere made the night less than appealing. When I was about ready to give up and catch a cab, Lisa who was determined to save the night-out exclaims that there was nothing tequila could not fix! I have to admit how right she was and say this may become my new motto.

Everything is going to be alright

Maybe not today but eventually.
Our fabulous student paper the Concordian, features a weekly mix-tape hosted on 8tracks.com. I have become a pretty avid user of the site and the other day one of the sets had this photo attached. It stuck probably because it describes my current state end of semester blues perfectly.

Playing Catch Up

So it is only week three and the stress is already on and I feel like I have already fell so far behind. I am trying desperately to catch up which is hard to do while also writing articles for The Concordian and producing a certain someone's Bar Mitzvah video. Though with that said, I rather be busy than bored out of my mind. I know it may seem a little strange to complain about vacation, but winter break was rather boring and it is kind of nice to be back with some of my school friends being productive.

Anyways, a lot of people seem to be heading on exchanges and I have that "left behind" feeling. It does not make it easier that of all my school friends, I am the only one that lives at home. I was originally thinking that I should go on an exchange next year but certain circumstances like a full year course and an interest in getting involved in the school paper is keeping me home. I am definitely happy with my decision but saying all these goodbyes is just getting depressing.

In an attempt to stick with some resolutions, I had mentioned my discontent with my high school group of friends but promised to be proactive about solving this... well guess what? Tomorrow night it so happens that we are going out! I shall keep you posted on this.

I know the posting has been infrequent but as I have already mentioned I am totally overwhelmed. On the bright side, having a long list of things to do means I get to waste my time making a to do list... I do not know about anyone else but that has to be my favorite procrastination tool. I also often put things I have accomplished on it, so that I can cross it out and feel more productive than I may actually be.

Check out my newest article in this week's Concordian.

Time out: why taking a year off might be exactly what you need

New Decade

Vacation is already over and I have very little to report on. The few weeks off were rather boring because I did not have nearly enough "fun" as I expected and hoped for. But what is good about that is I am not really dreading the new semester all that much. In fact I am kind of really excited about school and starting a new decade.

I know it is totally cliche to talk about resolutions in the days following new years, but I can not help but do it anyways. Amongst the typical promises to myself to 1. exercise more (well at all) and 2. eat healthy, I have also decided to attempt to 3. be more positive in life and 4. worry less. Two areas that for anyone who knows me, know how desperately I need to do this. My anxiety and pessimism are hard characteristics to rid myself of but I am making a promise to attempt it. A final resolution is to 5. to finish what I start. All too often I start a craft project, start re-organizing my room or avoid cleaning up after myself which eventually causes my surroundings to become a total mess which stresses me out, something I want to avoid.

Round Up - Part 2

So in an attempt to keep with my resolution, I will tie up some loose ends from a couple of posts ago when I wrote a list of things I want to blog about but only ever got to half of them.I wrote about Halloween, Building a portfolio, Buying a new watch, Olympic clothing and Where the Wild Things Are.

Here is what was left:

6. Going on an exchange - I really want to go on one with my friend Teddy because I think I will be too much of an anxiety case if I go alone. Unfortunately, we have not chosen our top destination though the deadline is in less than a month. Though this week we vowed to get together to discuss and I plan on approaching teachers to ask for letters of recommendations.

7. Black ankle boots - gave up the search and instead bought high riding boots which I adore. In fact, my boots were featured in Cosmo this month.

8. Being more confident - This is not just another resolution of mine but rather an attempt to be more comfortable in my chosen field. Too often I am overly shy to approach people or take initiative, something that I need work on if I am going to succeed as a journalist. Also, in life I just want to 6. be more bold.

9. Dwindling group of friends - basically our high school clique is dead, a fact I have had trouble handling for the last few years. I waste a lot of energy being disappointed in friends and rather than dwell, I have decided to categorize my friendships into "worth it" and "not worth it". This may seem overly I don't know what, but I need to avoid wasting time and energy making an effort with someone who has not interest in reciprocating it. I don't mean this rudely just a little frustration vent.

10. Camp - I am not going back for the first time in twelve years, and I am not okay with it. I am actually the opposite of okay, I am depressed about it... especially since I have no plans this summer. Not to mention my blog description is "camp addict". How can I be a camp addict if I don't go to camp :(

p.s - after all the NYE dreading the night was not so bad... who could have predicted that?

The Second Line

I don't know if anyone else feels the pressure I do with birthday wishes on Facebook.
When I go to post a birthday message on someone's wall, I always stress over the second line.

Stress Factors:
I want to make it personal not generic.
I don't my second line to be a repetition of the posts before mine, so 'have a good day' is usually taken by the million before mine.
I am not an 'xoxo' type of girl so using that is out of the question.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
................................... <-- Insert personal AND original message there.

Pretty much, I am being ridiculous, BUT I figured I can't be alone in this dilemma of the second line so I decided to share.

P.S Happy Birthday Alexandra!