This WOULD happen to me

After hours of procrastination, I finally begin my homework. I set everything up in my basement which has a huge table. I call my dog downstairs for company. My dog cuddles up beside me for about five minutes and all of a sudden it leaps off my lap and runs to our fireplace. She begins barking, crying and jumping up the walls.

So I am thinking that she has thrown one of her balls behind and is trying to get it out when i hear the squeak. I listen closely and that is when I hear fluttering feathers and chirping. Sure enough, there is A BIRD IN MY FIREPLACE. My dog is freaking out and so am I.

I call my mother - she is useless.
I decided to call the SPCA, they tell me to call the Wildlife Control. They tell for 350 dollars, they can send someone to try and get it out - no guarantees. Oh thats nice, no guarantees meaning you might come and leave without saving no god damn bird. Not going to happen.
I call my mother back - she is still useless. $350 non-guaranteed rescue is out of the question (duh!)

I try to distract my dog by putting her outside. After 10 minutes of yelping on the back balcony, I let her in BUT she ran to the basement and cried even louder. Fun fact = dogs don't have short term memory. So I thew her back outside where she is currently barking. I am sure my neighbors love me! Plus now I have moved all my books up to the kitchen out of the echoes of dying bird.

Nothing says study atmosphere quite like dying bird and crying dog.